Leaving behind the suffocating aroma of stale coffee and unanswered emails was the best feeling. As I pulled out of my driveway, Joni Mitchell blasting through the speakers, Baltimore shrinking in my rearview mirror, the sheer joy of escaping the suburbs almost made me forget Coco, my ridiculously pampered poodle, was nestled (read: glaring) in the passenger seat. Divorce, apparently, comes with shared custody of canine companions. I was Amelia, recently liberated from a life of suburban predictability, a 40-something high school science teacher trading graded papers for wild horses. Assateague Island National Seashore, Maryland/Virginia, was my escape. A solo camping trip was my reset. Little did I know, it would involve more wilderness woes than wilderness wins. My destination: Bayside Campground. This is the tale of my adventure (and Coco's existential crisis), framed for anyone seeking a solo nature escape with a healthy dose of humor and realism. (Oh, and if you're planning Assateague camping with dogs, read on!)

Camping with a poodle is not always picture perfect. Coco clearly was not a fan of all the sand. She is also mad I didn't bring her salmon pate.

Getting There: Route 50 and Existential Dread

The drive itself started idyllically. Windows down, wind whipping through my hair (and Coco's meticulously coiffed fur), the sun shining... and then I hit Route 50. The soul-crushing traffic of vacationers heading to Ocean City was a stark reminder that I wasn't the only one seeking respite from reality. It was a good thing I brought a book on CD.

As dusk settled, I finally arrived at Assateague, map in hand, feeling like a pioneer about to conquer uncharted territory. Except my territory was the Bayside Campground, a maze of seemingly identical campsites. After what felt like an eternity, illuminated only by the faint glow of my headlights and the increasingly frantic barking of Coco, I found it: B-23. It was a small miracle.

Question: How do I reserve a campsite at Assateague Bayside Campground?

You can reserve a campsite on the Recreation.gov website. Be sure to check availability well in advance, especially during peak season.

Setting Up Camp: Mosquitoes and Malfunction

My REI Co-op Half Dome 2 Plus tent, usually a breeze to assemble, became my nemesis. Apparently, solo tent setup after a stressful drive is not my forte. Coco, meanwhile, was on a mission to sample every… um… "organic fertilizer" deposit she could find. Let's just say I spent a considerable amount of time yelling "Coco, NO!" and pulling her away from various piles of… stuff.

The Bayside Campground offers minimal shade, which I quickly learned was a significant oversight on my part. The mosquitoes descended with the force of a biblical plague the moment I stopped moving. I tried unpacking my Goal Zero Nomad 5 to charge my phone but, wouldn't you know it, I forgot how to use it. I probably should have looked up some Assateague Island camping tips before I left.

The mosquitoes were relentless! I think they could smell my despair.

Campground Rules: Don't Feed the Wildlife (Especially with Poodles)

Assateague's famous wild horses are magnificent, but the "do not feed" rule is strictly enforced. I witnessed a tourist get aggressively nuzzled by a pony while attempting a selfie, and the image of myself in court explaining that Coco convinced me to share a granola bar with a miniature horse was enough to keep me in line.

To add insult to injury, a park ranger politely reminded me that Coco needed to be leashed at all times after she decided to chase a seagull, thus adding dog-friendly camping Maryland to the things that are difficult. Coco, naturally, acted like the leash was a medieval torture device.

Amenities (or Lack Thereof): Aromatic Adventures

The shared water spigots felt like they were located approximately half a mile from my campsite. Hydration became a full-body workout. The trek to the pit toilets was… aromatic, to say the least. Let's just say a reliable headlamp (Black Diamond Spot 350) and travel-sized bottle of hand sanitizer (Purell Advanced) are absolute necessities.

The complete lack of cell service was a mixed blessing. Frustration when I wanted to text my best friend about my disastrous love life warred with a welcome relief from the constant barrage of work emails. Disconnecting in nature Maryland, I thought, should be a lot easier than this.

Question: What are the pet rules at Assateague Bayside Campground?

All pets must be kept on a leash no longer than six feet and are not allowed in certain areas, such as lifeguard-protected beaches. Be sure to clean up after your pet.

Food Focus: Cardboard Oats and Tuna Snobbery

My no-cook meal options were… underwhelming. The pre-made salad in a jar from Trader Joe’s was surprisingly palatable, but the overnight oats tasted suspiciously like wet cardboard. I even considered offering Coco the tuna pouch with whole-grain crackers instead of her usual salmon pate, but she gave it a sniff and turned up her nose. Some things, it seems, are non-negotiable, even in the wilderness.

Activities: Birdwatching, Kayaking, and Poodle Panic

Birdwatching

My attempts to identify different bird species using my Vortex Diamondback HD 8x42 binoculars and my well-worn National Geographic Field Guide to the Birds of Eastern North America were mostly unsuccessful. Coco barked incessantly at the ospreys circling overhead, convinced they were a personal threat. I did manage to spot some herons, which I thought were "really cool" at least.

Kayaking/Paddleboarding

My kayaking experience on the Sinepuxent Bay side of the island was… harrowing. Coco reluctantly rode in the front of my bright pink, inflatable Sevylor Quikpak K1 kayak, wearing a ridiculously oversized doggy life vest. She tried to jump overboard several times. The water was so shallow it was tough to paddle, and I started to regret my solo female camping Assateague Island plan.

Beachcombing

Beachcombing along the Atlantic Ocean shoreline was slightly more successful. I spent most of my time scanning the sand for washed-up jellyfish, hyper-aware of the potential dangers for Coco's sensitive paws. The trip involved many Assateague wild horses camping safety precautions. Coco found a discarded horseshoe crab shell and promptly leaped three feet in the air, yelping hysterically.

Coco hated the kayak. I think she wanted to push me in the water.

Wild Horses: A Dawn Encounter

Waking up at dawn to find a wild pony grazing just outside my tent was surreal. Awe mingled with panic as I remembered the campground rules. The pony had a muddy bay coat, a tangled mane, and a blue tag in its ear. I wanted to find that pony again and do some online research of the tag numbers later (if I had service).

Question: How close can I get to the wild horses at Assateague?

It's recommended to stay at least 25 feet away from the wild horses. They are wild animals and can be unpredictable. Never attempt to feed or touch them.

Instagram Angle: The Reality of #CampingFail

• Post 1: A blurry, slightly out-of-focus photo of Coco looking miserable and covered in sand, captioned: "Camping with a poodle: Expectation vs. Reality. 🐾 #assateagueisland #solocamping #poodlelife #campingfail"
• Post 2: A shaky, handheld video of Amelia frantically swatting mosquitoes around her head, captioned: "Mosquitoes are winning. Send wine (and DEET). #assateague #bugspray #campingproblems"
• Post 3: A time-lapse of the sunrise over the ocean, shot with her iPhone, captioned: "Sunrise over Assateague. Worth the mosquito bites. #sunrise #oceanview #assateagueisland #solotravel"
• Story 1: A picture of my bright pink kayak, with Coco giving the camera the stink eye, captioned "Coco thinks she is the captain now"

Cost Breakdown: Budget Reset vs. Ocean City Splurge

My three-night camping trip at Assateague cost approximately $90 for the campsite. A three-night stay in a mid-range hotel in nearby Ocean City, Maryland, would have easily cost $600+. The trade-offs were clear: significantly lower cost versus increased discomfort, lack of amenities, and the unique (and sometimes chaotic) experience of being immersed in nature (and wild horses).

The Solo Reset: Peace Amidst the Poodles

Did I find the peace and quiet I was looking for amidst the chaos of the campground? Honestly, not entirely. Coco's constant complaints and the relentless mosquitoes made true serenity elusive. However, the lack of cell service forced me to slow down, to just sit still and observe. And, amidst the challenges, I did reconnect with nature, in a way I hadn't done in years. I learned that I can, in fact, set up a tent alone (eventually). I also learned that Coco has surprisingly strong opinions about tuna.

Ready for your own wilderness escape? Check out vistalocation.com for tips on booking your campsite at Assateague Island National Seashore and preparing for your adventure! Remember to pack a screen tent, at least 40% DEET bug spray, and don't, under any circumstances, feed the ponies!

Assateague Island: It's not always easy, but it's definitely an experience you'll never forget... especially with a pampered poodle in tow.